A Risk Worth Taking
Saturday November 8th 2019, today marks 2 years since I took a risk and went in person to tell my twin flame everything. I was so nervous and didn’t know if I was doing the right thing. I thought if he’s not experiencing the same things I was he would call me crazy and kick me out of his house. It was a risk I had to take. That weekend turned out to be one of the most magical weekends of my life. Instead of calling me crazy he pulled me in closer. When he kissed me the fireworks exploded within. Just to lay next to him holding one another felt so right. It was a weekend that I will cherish forever.
Here I am 2 years later and although the twin flame journey is more about soul growth and going within. I still miss him being in my life.
If you read my book you know what happened and we can’t change the past we can only live in the moment as that’s the only time we really have. I live my life with no regrets. I take chances, go on adventures and I don’t waste a moment. Although I have no desire to date anyone but myself. My friends encouraged me to try online dating.
I have met some amazing people and gone on some pretty amazing dates. One guy met me at Canada’s Wonderland he paid for everything and we had an amazing time. Unfortunately it triggered more inner childhood wounds by him paying for everything. Him paying for everything triggered my internal wounds, of my dad buying my love as a child. We would do fun things like this and then he would be gone again. This person took me to Canada’s Wonderland we had an amazing date, a few days later we went out for dinner. We had a really nice time but the next day he left to go back to work for 6 weeks. A few days after he he left he told me he wasn’t feeling the spark with me (which was mutual it felt more like a friendship). I agreed that we should just be friends but he ghosted me a week later.
Since then I have been stood up 3 times. I even drove 2 hours to meet someone. I messaged him that morning to say I was leaving my house. He gave me a thumbs up and said “see you soon”. I waited at this park for 3 hours after the time we had planned to meet. He didn’t text me back until 10pm that night. He told me that we had to talk. I told him that I know my self worth and in a land where everyone is constantly on their phone there was no excuse as to why he couldn’t have sent me a quick text. He went on to try and reschedule another meeting time with me. I said I’m a one and done woman no second chances. He called me a cold hearted bitch, and continued to tell me I wasn’t even that pretty. I blocked him after that.
I have been catfished, lied too, stood up, stalked and ghosted. I know the universe is just putting these people in my path for soul growth and I obviously have some work to do with my abandonment issues which I am working on.
I do feel whole and complete on my own but it would be nice to have someone to share my life with. I don’t feel the spark with anyone like I did with my twin flame. No one tells you that the hardest relationship you will every have will be the one with yourself. In a world where everyone is looking for their “other half” “soulmate” “twin flame” “better half” to complete them. The truth is you must be whole and complete on your own and love who you are are fully and completely. Only then will you attract the right partner into your life.
I have given up on dating apps. It makes me sad to see what the world of dating has become. Why hide behind a mask and fake who your are? Everyone seems to just be looking to hook up with no attachments. If you don’t put out on the first date good luck getting a call back. There are couples who are looking to spice things up by adding a third party. What happened to dating? Where you go out with someone with no expectation of having sex in return for a nice night out. Hollywood has normalized sex and it’s so sad. I could get laid every day of the week by a different person every night if I wanted.
Instead I choose to wait for Mr.Right. I have not had sex with anyone in 2 years and I’m am okay waiting until I find the right one. If everyone knew the power of sex and the connection you make when you do come in contact with a soul connection there is no way you could just sleep around.
I have let the divine take the wheel. I have faith that the divine will bring me my Prince Charming when the time is right. They brought my twin flame to me when I was least expecting it. I know everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, when it’s supposed too. Until then I just keep living my life to the fullest taking risks and having fun.
