So today I found one of my residents dead. Having worked in long term care for over 20 years now I have actually found many people who are just laying in their bed waiting to be found.

Today was different I was in the office trying to put some music on an iPod for another resident the song I was loading was “stairway to heaven” when all of a sudden I heard… “For the love of god will someone come check on me, god damnit”.

I connected the voice in my head to one of my residents who was end of life. I had gone to say my goodbyes that morning knowing this resident didn’t have much time left in this physical world. As I approached the room I felt goosebumps through my entire body the hairs on my neck stood on end. I knew they were dead before even entering the room and should have just went to get the nurse. However I proceeded to go into the room.

I sat with the body for a minute I put my hand on this persons arm and saw their life flash before my eyes like you see in the movies. This individual lived a long full life. They had travelled the world, painted pictures of their adventures, wrote and published a book, was married and had lived an amazing life. This individual was in their 90’s. I had watched the arthritis take over their body to a point where they were bed ridden, hard of hearing, visually impaired and no longer able to paint or write. Over time this person became a hermit in their room refusing all 1:1 friendly visits. I watched over the course of a year as this person declined. Where was the quality of life? Why continue to lay in a bed allowing a machine to breath for you? That is not living.

Being surround by death has really taught me a lesson in how to live my life. I live my life in the moment with no regrets. I take the chances, go on adventures, travel the world and just live life care free.  If I don’t like the way my life is going I change it.

My life has changed more in 2 years than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. I have learned that we are the creators of our own reality and can manifest any life we desire from our dream state into reality.

I am so grateful for the universe connecting me with my twin flame. Although I didn’t feel that way in the beginning. I felt as if I had been cursed. My entire life as I knew it fell apart after connecting with him. Within one months time I left my matrimonial home, my husband at that time and all my things behind to start my life over. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done.

It was the fear of the unknown that kept me trapped in an abusive, loveless relationship for so long. I can tell you today I stand before you a much stronger, confident, independent woman and I will always be grateful that I made these life changes when I did. If it wasn’t for my twin flame I would probably be in the same abuse cycle or even worse dead.

As for the twin flame thing. It does get easier with every passing day but he is still burned into my body, mind and soul. Some days are easier than others. I find the hardest part is having no communication with him in the real world. I actually had to grieve loosing him.  When he ghosted and blocked me out of his life. It was as if he had died here in the physical world. In order to grieve his death I wrote a letter in my journal called an ode to my twin flame.

With life comes death and although neither is easy. It is important to just live your life daily. We come into this life alone and we die alone. Like Trooper says in their song “We’re here for a good time not a long time, so have a good time the sun can’t shine everyday”